We met unpredictably when we both were not seeking for love. You came into my life, and suddenly everything is all about you. You caught my attention, you filled my mind, and you gave me butterflies through every each of your message. That time, I didn’t know my love could grow this big. I didn’t know that the man I randomly met in a team would be this impactful to my life. Now I can’t imagine my days without you in it, I can’t imagine how my life would be without you. But one thing I know for sure, I wouldn’t cherish each of my day this much if we didn’t meet. Everyday feels so special when I have you, Ian. The feelings of anticipating tomorrow is something that I’m so grateful about. You bring hope to my life, you give me strength and motivation to do my best each day. You are that impactful to me, babe. That’s how big your role is in my life.
Every time I saw your pictures, my heart went soft and I subconsciously said “I love you, I love you” in my mind. Every time I stared at your profile, my gaze softened and I couldn’t help but feeling so lucky to have you. I wish I could tell you exactly how important you are and how much you mean to me, Ian. You taught me what unconditional love is. Let me just be honest; I think I’m already so attached to you now. You’re part of my everyday life. You’re my life. It’s still interesting to see how someone you just met 8 months ago could be this powerful to your life. You’re the last person I’d hurt, baby. I would do anything to give you the best of everything because you deserve it. You only deserve all the good things. I never passed a single day without being amazed at your personality.. the way you care for others, the way you show your affections, the way you’re being considerate towards me and others, the way you control your emotions during rough times. You.. really. You are that amazing, Ian. You never stop inspiring me each day and the more I know you, the more I am amazed by your potentials and most importantly, your biggest heart.
These past few months have been so intimate and personal to me. We started to share more things, even to the things that we want to bury far, far away. And I’m glad we shared them to each other. I just want you to know that if life ever gives you those moments again, please fear nothing. You’re now not alone. You will never be. You have me now; you have me to return to. You have me to lean on. You have me to protect you. You have me to hug you soooo tightly during lonely nights. I will never let you go through them alone, Ian. We’ll always have each other no matter what happens. Thank you for sharing them to me too, Ian.. I know it mustn’t be easy for you to talk about it yet you did it anyways. Seeing you sharing these to me makes me even more sure of how strong you truly are. You might think that you’re so vulnerable and weak but no, you’re so strong. You’re that strong and capable. And I will never get tired of reminding you so.
You see, my heart always feels so warm every time we are talking about our future. Don’t you think we’re too prepared? XD we have our wedding concept in mind.. future kids’ names.. even our plans once we are no longer together here (I hate typing this but on the other side, I reaaaaally anticipate to know you in person HUFT). It’s interesting to see how my monthly letter topic goes deeper each month SHDKFJSHGS. I feel like we’re beginning to look alike.. the way we think, act, talk and respond.. it gives me chills sometimes when we’re so connected to each other. Do you feel it too? :p
Ian, I also want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my #1 support system. One of the main reasons why I keep going is because of you. You never stop supporting me; you always appreciated me even when I only gave the bare minimum of what I could do. You understands me so well, and you never judged any of my mistakes. You never forget to take time and appreciate what I’m doing, even when it’s not really important. You paid attention to them. You paid attention to every single small detail. And it makes me feel so loved.. My eyes always get teary every time I think about those moments. I never felt this loved before.. And nobody ever understands me the way you do. I’m so out of words if you’re asking me to describe my love for you. I suddenly remember about the things that you’re still afraid to tell me babe, and yes I did make some guesses but even when I imagined them to be true, it still won’t change my love. I love you so much, Ian. What I care about is not those things, but who you are now. That’s what matters. You are you, the man whom I give my heart to.
Happy 7th, my love. I’m sorry I only prepared you this letter.. T________T let’s last for a really, really long time! Let’s always be together. I can’t wait to spend more months and years with you! I love you, Ryan Aditama. Thank you for coming into my life.
With love,
Dee dee.
